So it's Good Friday (for those heathens out there who don't know, it's the day that Jesus Christ was crucified - though I realize that there could be some confusion over calling it "good" Friday and there is an explanation for that, but if you don't know it I'm really not the one to explain it to you - trust me on this one). AND it's also Earth Day, which gives us the opportunity to try and reverse the irreversible damage that the human parasite has inflicted on the planet, so go out and hug a tree today if that's what it takes to absolve yourself of your guilt from drinking a bazillion gallons of bottled water every year without recycling.
But wait! There's more! If you hate both Christianity and the planet there are plenty of other things to celebrate today, such as:
- the anniversary of the opening of Disney's Animal Kingdom (1998) - did that Bug's Life 3-D movie freak the hell out of anyone else? Holy shit those Disney fuckers are cruel cruel bastards.
- the anniversary of the day the last USAF F-117 was retired (2008) - that would be the Stealth Fighter, not to be confused with the B-2 Stealth Bomber for the 3 people reading this who have a minor inkling of to what I am referring.
- the 1st year anniversary of Deepwater Horizon sinking to the bottom of the Gulf (2010) - Yay, Oil! We love you... um....except for when your ill effects hit us too close to home, and then you make us angry. Grrrrr... this is us showing you our angry face ----> x-(
- Vladimir Lenin's Birthday (1870) - shout out to the Commies in the house!
- Vladimir Nabokov's Birthday (1899) - another Russian named Vladimir born on the same day! What are the odds? (eh, pretty high, I reckon.) Though their claims to fame are somewhat different, eh? Starting a political movement v. writing a book about an old guy diddling a pre-teen... those Russians are some whacky folks, no?
- Jack Nicholson's Birthday (1937) - is he really that old? I mean it's not that he doesn't look it, but my how time flies. I'm sure he's still dating 18-year-olds though...
And speaking of Jack Nicholson's girlfriends, I got an email the other day from a t-shirt company and they were running a special on Playboy Bunny t-shirts, which got me thinking about the type of woman who would buy such a thing. Oh I know there are plenty out there who would (I'm not one of them), but shouldn't there be a law that ugly chicks shouldn't be allowed to make such a purchase? Now most of you are going to say that I'm being mean, but I'm really not. One reason I'd never buy such a shirt is that I could never pull it off (well that and I'm not a cheap tramp). But an ugly chick in a Playboy shirt = walking irony and undoubtedly the target for many-a-joke. I'm just trying to look out for their own well being here. I'm a giver that way... Move over, Mother Theresa, I've got a humanitarian campaign idea to top them all!
In other news (and I'll end this rambling after this 'cause I know I'm boring you already), the day after my profile got rejected on
whatsyourprice.com, a website called
sugardaddie.com started following me on Twitter (shout out to the peeps at that fine establishment if you're reading this right now). Their tagline is: "Where the classy, attractive, and affluent meet". Well I meet at least one of those criteria! Also, they have a banner on their home page stating, "As Seen on... Dr. Phil..." Well, if they have to namedrop Dr. Phil to garner interest, then it
has to be good, right? I haven't had a chance to really peruse the site yet, but I will when I get bored one day, so stay tuned!
Oh, and happy Easter, all.
